LGBTQ+ Parents Share How Adopting Changed Their Lives: ‘Our Families Are Just as Valid’
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In celebration of National Adoption Week, PinkNews spoke with the National Adoption Service for Wales and LGBTQ+ parents who have chosen to adopt. The data from 2022 reveals that Wales has the highest proportion of LGBTQ+ adopters in the UK, as more queer individuals are expanding their families by providing a home to a child in need.
Abbey Collings, a lesbian mother, adopted her son as a baby after unsuccessful IVF treatment. Now, at three years old, Abbey is proud of the development and growth she has witnessed in her son. She has taught him good manners and kindness, and she takes pride in his likable personality.
Chris Gibbs and Alun Jones, a gay couple, adopted their first son when he was three years and four months old. The adoption brought them closer together as a couple. They are now eagerly awaiting the arrival of their second son, who will be three years and one month old when he joins their family in October.
Suzanne Griffiths, the director of the National Adoption Service for Wales, highlights the inclusive nature of their service. The Adoption and Children Act, passed in 2002, allowed unmarried couples, including same-sex couples, to apply for joint adoption in England and Wales. This legislation came into force in December 2005. Both Abbey and Chris and Alun did not have any concerns about being LGBTQ+ adoptive parents. Abbey is comfortable with her sexuality and being an adoptive parent, while Chris, who is visually impaired, initially had concerns about his disability. However, the agency quickly dispelled those concerns.
Both families ensure that their children have inclusive books at home that showcase diverse families. This helps the children feel fully aware and just as valid as any other family. Chris’s son proudly tells his nursery school that he has two daddies and even attends Pride events with his dads.
Unfortunately, the couple did encounter a negative experience at a Drag Queen Story Hour in Cardiff, where anti-LGBTQ+ demonstrators frightened their son. Despite this, both families remain hopeful that their children will grow up in supportive and accepting environments.
Research from the LGBTQ+ adopters, foster carers, and kinship carers charity New Family Social reveals that Wales has the highest proportion of same-sex couples adopting in the UK. One in four adoptions in Wales in 2022 were to same-sex couples, compared to one in six adoptions in England.
However, there is still political opposition to adoption from individuals like Tory MP Miriam Cates, who believes that an “ideal” family consists of children being with both biological parents. Suzanne Griffiths emphasizes that while it is important for children to remain with their birth families or communities when possible, this is not always the case. Adoption is one of the forms of permanence available for children who cannot safely remain in their birth families or communities.
In response to Cates’ comments, Abbey emphasizes that once you become a parent, you only care about providing love and care for your child. Chris adds that what matters most is that a child is nurtured, loved, and kept safe, regardless of whether they are with their biological parents or not.
Both families encourage the LGBTQ+ community to consider adoption as a means to expand or create their own families. Chris believes that LGBTQ+ parents can offer a nurturing environment where children can thrive. He encourages those with questions about adoption to reach out to adoption agencies for guidance. Abbey advises LGBTQ+ individuals not to be scared because their sexual orientation will not disadvantage them in any way.
National Adoption Week serves as a reminder of the importance of adoption and the positive impact it can have on both children and parents. LGBTQ+ adopters are playing a significant role in providing loving homes for children in need.
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“Adopting changed lives of LGBTQ+ parents”
