Serbian homosexual men’s sexual experiences can be wilder and more adventurous than those in the UK, especially in Belgrade. While the term “cottage” is a slang word originating from the UK, referring to anonymous sex between men in public restrooms, Serbian subculture offers its own unique and often more daring take on such encounters.
Cottaging is a specific form of homosexual cruising which exclusively takes place in public toilets
Cottaging is a specific form of gay cruising which exclusively takes place in public toilets. Sometimes, glory holes are drilled into cubicle walls, but not always. It’s a practice with a rich American history as well, where these lusty loos are referred to as ‘tearooms’ – interestingly, though, the name is often thought to be a reference to ‘tea’ as British slang for ‘urine’.
One person may function as a lookout to warn if non-cottagers are coming
Cottages are located in places heavily used by many people such as bus stations, railway stations, airports and university campuses. Foot signals—tapping a foot, sliding a foot slightly under the divider between stalls, attracting the attention of the occupant of the next stall—are used to signify that one wishes to connect with the person in the next cubicle. In some heavily used cottages, an etiquette develops and one person may function as a lookout to warn if non-cottagers are coming.
News coverage has done little to deter the continuation of public toilet cruising
In Belgrade, the underground cruising activities of gay men have occasionally caught the attention of local media outlets. These encounters, set against the backdrop of heteronormative narratives, have been highlighted in news reports. However, such coverage has done little to deter the continuation of public toilet cruising, which persists undeterred despite the scrutiny.
Telegraf 11/02/20: Homoseksualno carstvo u beogradskim toaletima: Merkaju vas na pisoaru, zaviruju pod kabinu
Zeleni Venac Toilet attracts a diverse crowd, including homeless individuals, bus drivers, and various other suspicious types who linger longer than necessary
The Zeleni Venac toilet has become a popular homosexual cruising spot due to its discreet location and limited visibility, offering privacy for sexual encounters. This toilet is one of the busiest in the area. It attracts a diverse crowd, including homeless individuals, bus drivers, and various other suspicious types who linger longer than necessary, as if waiting for someone or on duty. The cleanliness leaves much to be desired, with the large cabin door unable to close or lock. Additionally, there is no toilet paper or soap available.
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Female middle-aged hygienists have increasingly turned a blind eye to the daily occurrence of group masturbation in front of urinals
In a troubling trend, female middle-aged hygienists have increasingly turned a blind eye to the daily occurrence of group masturbation in front of urinals, making it difficult to enforce prohibitions against such behavior. Occasionally, these hygienists enlist the help of a neighbor who sells secondhand books to disperse the gathering of men engaging in these acts in the restroom. As closing time approaches, the hygienists resort to knocking on the restroom door and loudly urging the lingering individuals to exit promptly, reflecting a clear disapproval of the situation while grappling with the challenge of maintaining decorum in a space meant for hygiene.
Many homosexual men sought such desiring thrills without commitment
The main takeaway was that there was no single archetype: some were described as straight, middle-class businessmen, while others were uniform-clad security guards or bus drivers. They came here for instant sex; many men sought such impersonal encounters, shunning involvement and desiring thrills without commitment.
Generational LGBTQ situations in Serbia: [Insights Into Serbia] “3 Alarming Generational Biases: Serbia’s Disturbing Disconnect with ‘Gay’ Exposes Deep Divides”
The allure of fresh encounters, especially with young men, makes these spots particularly popular for hookups
In Belgrade, Zeleni Venac isn’t the only cruising spot for gay men; the toilet near the National Theatre is also popular. Both locations are in the bustling heart of the old town, where people come and go constantly. Every day, new faces can be found in the public toilet, which adds to the excitement of cruising. The allure of fresh encounters, especially with young men, makes these spots particularly popular for hookups.
In the public toilets of Belgrade, masturbators and self-proclaimed ‘masters’ of oral sex hold court
Necessity is a necessity, and when you’re in a hurry, you rarely stop to look around. But rest assured, they’re watching you. In the public toilets of Belgrade, masturbators and self-proclaimed ‘masters’ of oral sex hold court, scanning for the slightest hint of interest—a wink, a glance, anything. Initially, they’re cautious. When a newcomer steps into their domain, the discreet ones wait in the shadows, watching as others leave. They bide their time until only one or two like-minded individuals remain, ensuring their quick, surreptitious activities go unnoticed by any hygienist or, worse.
How do men solicit while cottaging?
Homosexual culture is known for its secret codes – like the handkerchief code, which colour-coded your preferred fetishes for horny, queer strangers, or Polari, a makeshift language resistant to policing. Cottaging has its own version: ‘tapping’. In cubicles, one man usually initates contact by tapping his foot under the divider. If he gets a similar gesture in response, he’ll edge his foot closer. After a few repeats of this pattern, a hand is slid underneath to seal the deal.
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Many homosexual men find public toilets more convenient for hookups than gay saunas
Many gay men find public toilets more convenient for hookups than gay saunas. While I’ve heard of a gay sauna in Belgrade, Google reviews paint a less-than-appealing picture. Reviews on Google complain that the sauna is overpriced—around 3000 RSD (€26)—and not worth the time or money. And reviewers often complain about the sauna’s shabby condition, describing it as a waste of time and money. Moreover, many patrons are reportedly older and less physically appealing, making it difficult to find young, attractive partners. In contrast, places like the Zeleni Venac toilet or the National Theatre toilet offer a better alternative for casual, no-strings-attached encounters. Best of all? It’s completely free.
The cubicle door was left half-open, a clear invitation to passing clients in exchange for quick cash
A young man, who looked like a high school student, stood inside a toilet cubicle with his pants intentionally unbelted and his fly unzipped. The cubicle door was left half-open, a clear invitation to passing clients in exchange for quick cash. His bad breath lingered in the air, reeking of an unwashed ashtray.
As we were leaving, we noticed a sign stating that anyone needing toilet paper should contact the hygienist. In reality, however, no one from the men’s toilet ever purchased toilet paper from them. If your purpose is purely practical—urinating or defecating—it’s far better to use a restroom with an entrance fee, or head to a café or McDonald’s. Those places are well-stocked with essentials like toilet paper and hand soap, ensuring a more hygienic experience.
Older Serbian men and gypsies often linger in these spaces, hoping for a glimpse of something enticing
If you turn toward the cabin door, you’ll notice an abundance of vulgar drawings, suggestive messages, advertisements, and phone numbers. Having a satisfying sexual experience—especially in a public toilet in Serbia—is no easy feat, which is why many consider it an ‘adventure.’ One common issue is the pervasive stench of cigarettes, as older Serbian men and gypsies often linger in these spaces, hoping for a glimpse of something enticing. This unconventional ‘sex venture’ has fostered a community of individuals with similar interests.
There are significant risks about unconventional ‘sex venture’
However, there are significant risks to be mindful of:
- Extortion: Some local Serbian men, often speaking limited English, have been known to extort smaller or tourist-like foreign gay men at cruising spots, such as public toilet cubicles. These extortionists usually claim their demands are for food or as “compensation” for having their genitals touched. The amounts often start with the number 2, like 200 dinars or even €200. Perhaps the number 2 holds some symbolic meaning for Serbians.
- Hygiene Risks: Physical contact in such settings is highly unhygienic. Rumors circulate about frequent cruising individuals carrying contagious diseases like HIV, HPV, and syphilis. Unlike other encounters, these individuals aren’t obligated to disclose their health status. Engaging in sexual activities in public places heightens the risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs), especially without proper precautions.
- Legal Risks: While homosexuality is legal in Serbia, public indecency laws remain enforceable, creating potential legal risks. Sexual activity in public places in Belgrade can lead to charges under Serbian law, classified as public indecency or disorderly conduct. Penalties range from fines to imprisonment, depending on the severity of the act and its impact on bystanders. The Serbian Criminal Code addresses offenses that violate public morals and dignity, with punishments varying from fines to several years in prison. That said, instances of police apprehending individuals for indecent behavior, such as masturbation, are rare. In fact, group masturbation is often perceived as a sort of ‘men’s game’ within these spaces.
Common scribbles or graphic messages indicating sex on the walls of the toilet
Common scribbles or graphic messages indicating sex on the walls of the toilet in Zeleni Venac and the national theatre:
“Put your dick through the door, so I can see it, if it’s about 22cm big, I’ll go in right away.
“I love Kurac, boys under 20 leave a number”
“I’m good. Male up to 85 years old”
“I suck your dick good by hands!”
Recognizing gay men who are cruising often involves observing specific signals and behaviors
Recognizing gay men who are cruising often involves observing specific signals and behaviors. Common indicators include:
- Eye contact: Prolonged glances can signal interest.
- Body language: Subtle gestures, like a nod or a smile, can indicate attraction.
- Foot tapping: This is a traditional signal used in public restrooms.
- Crotch grabs: A discreet way to show interest without being overt.
- Smiling or playful gestures: These can signal openness to interaction.
- Body positioning: Approaching someone and stopping nearby can also suggest interest.
They seemed to be gauging whether we were part of their cruising circle
In the toilet near the National Theatre, as we passed by a cabin, two men stood at the urinals, watching us intently. They seemed to be gauging whether we were part of their cruising circle. Spotting straight men in these toilets is simple—they keep to themselves, focusing solely on relieving themselves before leaving quickly. Inside the cabin, crude drawings of genitals and an amateur sketch of oral sex adorned the walls, creating a bizarre, explicit gallery.
We left, but the two men lingered, still waiting at the urinals for the next stranger to arrive
While washing our hands, we glanced at our reflections in the mirror. Nearby, an older man openly masturbated, making no effort to conceal himself. He deliberately turned his exposed genitals toward us, seemingly gauging our reactions.
Despite the toilets being free to use, the atmosphere is likely unappealing to many. While the masturbators are not aggressive, and those ‘on duty’ often ignore uninterested individuals, there’s an unspoken ‘signal’ they seem to await from others before engaging.
Paradoxically gay guys look down on one another’s participation in such acts
Men frequenting these cruising spots indulge in carnal pleasures, yet paradoxically look down on one another’s participation in such acts. Any physical contact between two individuals is often seen as transactional, even though there are no agreed-upon ‘standards’ for what constitutes a good blowjob.
Rude behaviors are not uncommon in these settings. For instance, if you happen to stand next to someone at the urinal who doesn’t find you appealing, he might rudely shove you aside to reserve the adjacent urinal for a more desirable newcomer.
In many ways, gay spaces in Serbia’s cities and towns are defined by stark contrasts—visibility and invisibility, centrality and marginality, presence and absence. In Belgrade, gay men carve out spaces for themselves in the very heart of the city. Yet they do so discreetly, behind unmarked doors, in neglected buildings, and under the cover of night, shielding themselves from the judgment and stigma of the public eye.
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